Ain’t that the truth!
The cosmic joke is that things are not always as they seem, as we are likely to discover if we compare notes afterwards. It’s funny how often it’s actually easy to sort out once we take the time to see past our filters and be willing to see the situation through the other’s eyes.
But what if the other person doesn’t feel inclined to clear it up?
On the surface this may appear negative, however, the positive is that you get to discover how much you are or are not relevant or important or valued in someone else’s life. (Not counting those in overwhelm who are taking time out.)
While I prefer to clear up any misunderstanding, I’m also not afraid to leave it be when someone disengages.
We tend to switch into ‘I’ve got to fix this’ auto-pilot – which is just another way of saying we would like our internal malaise to dissolve – but what does that create?
It’s surprising how often things can ease off substantially – or even resolve themselves – if we are willing to get out of our own way and allow it some breathing space.
It can actually be an act of respect and kindness (to yourself and the other) to leave it be if they are not interested in resolving it.
There are also times when disengagement is part of a natural flow. It can simply be time you each went your own way. It doesn’t have to be a wrong thing. It can even be the case that someone who isn’t comfortable with talking straight creates discord to achieve that goal.
It’s a blessing when we learn how to be gentle with ourselves in these circumstances. We can be at peace if our intentions were good and we’re ready, willing and able to own and rectify our part in any misunderstanding – even if it ends up being only to ourselves.
While it’s important to remember that we thrive on our interconnectedness, being able to thrive without it is an invaluable skill to apply on occasion.
At the end of the day, we will always re-connect if we value each other and our relationship – whether personal or professional – and if we leverage the experience to take us to a deeper place of understanding, it was well worth it.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Rumi